


Even Me, My Dear

by bitchmitchie



Category: Pentatonix
Genre: M/M, The AU where Mitch is a nanny, adventures in babysitting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-05-31 16:58:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6478465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitchmitchie/pseuds/bitchmitchie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If it was up to him, Eli would never have a nanny. Avi was perfectly content with just laying around the living room floor all day, making bottles, changing diapers and watching cartoons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is very different than the usual things I write, so I'm a little nervous but SO excited to post this. I'll be adding additional tags/warnings if necessary. I love this fic and I hope this little prologue will make you love it too!

Avi sighs and looks down at his phone, sending another text to Carmen, one of the girls that had agreed to be interviewed by him that day. He hates that term, _interview_ , but he can't think of another term that makes sense.

She says she won't be showing up anymore and Avi crosses her off his list mentally. He had already interviewed three girls that afternoon and was starting to lose his patience.

He hears soft sounds coming from the bouncer seat on the floor by his feet, and he realizes he's not the only one getting frustrated.

“Hey, little man,” Avi says and he pulls the seat closer so he can have a better look. Avi smiles when Eli opens his eyes and blinks, letting out a yawn, his small body squirming against the seat.

“Awake already? You barely slept for fifteen minutes, you know that's not good,” Avi tells him. The baby makes a soft sound, his green eyes blinking up at Avi and he smiles, his pink gums showing just a little when Avi gives him his finger to play with.

Avi smiles back at him, feeling the tension ease out of his shoulders. He's been trying to find a nanny all day, interviewing as many as he can in a short span of time. He didn't think the process would be so lengthy, but he had to pick the right person. He couldn't have just _anyone_ taking care of his son.

If it was up to him, Eli would never have a nanny. Avi was perfectly content with just laying around the living room floor all day, making bottles, changing diapers and watching cartoons.

But the real world doesn't work that way. After taking an extra month of paternity leave, Avi was stuck. He could either go back to work and continue getting health benefits for him and Eli, or he could quit and risk never getting a job this good again.

And so he settled. Of course it was a difficult choice, having to leave Eli with someone else for hours at a time, but Avi had to provide for him somehow. He lifts the baby from his seat and kisses his forehead. “Are you hungry?” he asks, as if he's going to get a proper reply.

Eli makes soft baby sounds, blowing bubbles with his spit and Avi uses a bib to wipe his chin clean. He knows the baby just ate, but he likes talking to Eli more than anything. It brings him comfort, even though he knows the baby has no idea what he's saying.

Avi holds Eli against his chest, with a hand on the back of his head for support, and he hums softly, standing and walking back and forth, hoping the baby will fall back asleep. Eli’s sleeping patterns have been off this whole week and Avi isn't sure what he's doing wrong, but he can only do so much to make a baby take a nap.

Eli finally stops squirming against him after a few minutes and the doorbell rings, which makes his little head lift from Avi's chest with attention. Avi sighs, setting him down on a blanket he put on the floor, thankful that he doesn't know how to roll around yet.

“I'll be right back,” he tells Eli and the baby just reaches for a toy and shakes it around in his fat fist.

Avi smiles and goes to the door, hoping that this next interview will go well. He nearly takes a step back when he sees a boy standing there, definitely a few years younger than himself, wearing a nice sweater and carrying a messenger bag.

“Hi! I'm Mitch, it's nice to meet you,” the boy says, reaching a hand out for Avi to shake and he's so soft spoken that Avi has to smile.

“It's nice meeting you too, I'm Avi,” he says, giving him a firm handshake and Mitch beams at him, biting his lip like he's nervous.

“I'm sorry I showed up so early - I was nervous the traffic would be bad and I didn't want to be late,” the boy - Mitch - says. Avi takes a few steps back and gestures for him to come inside.

“No worries at all - come on in, I'll show you around and you can meet the monster.”

Mitch smiles at that, taking off his shoes without being asked to and putting his bag down by the door. The moment he sees Eli, who is very busy grabbing at his own feet, he gasps.

“Oh my _gosh_ ,” Mitch whispers and he walks over to the living room, getting on his knees to reach the baby.

“Hi, baby. Look at your sweet little face, wow. You're a big boy, aren't you?” he coos, running his fingers over the baby’s belly gently and making him giggle, all gums and no teeth.

Mitch laughs, grabbing a nearby rattle and shaking it, catching Eli’s attention. “Oh, he is so, so sweet. What's his name?” he asks, not taking his eyes off the baby, who is trying to take the rattle back from him.

Avi smiles and leans against the wall, watching them. “It's Eli,” he replies and Mitch gasps like it's the most beautiful name he's ever heard.

“Hi, Eli. Wow, he must be barely four months, right? He's so curious, aren't you, baby?” Mitch asks and he picks Eli up, resting him against his forearm and gently booping his nose. Eli grabs his finger the second he can and tries bringing it into his mouth, making Mitch giggle.

Avi nods, trying to focus enough to answer Mitch's question. “He's going to be four months in about a week. He's a little big for his age,” he finally says.

Mitch nods, running his finger gently over Eli's soft nose, and he looks up at Avi and smiles, “He looks just like you.”

Avi blushes, feels his face getting hot at the compliment. “You think so?” he asks, tilting his head.

“Absolutely, it's like he took your eyes right out of your head,” Mitch says and then makes a face when he realizes what he said. “Sorry, that sounded way more morbid than I was going for.”

Avi laughs and shakes his head, “No, you're alright. Come on, I'll show you the kitchen.”

He shows Mitch where the formula is kept and talks about the baby's appetite. Eli is strictly drinking milk for now but Avi still writes out his feeding schedule and posts it on the fridge. Mitch laughs when he sees it but studies it carefully, bouncing the baby gently in his arms.

Eli holds onto Mitch's sweater, fingers locked tight in the fabric. Mitch ducks his head down every few minutes and hums to Eli softly, talking to him as Avi walks them through the house. He asks Mitch about his education and his previous employments and Mitch is impressive to say the least.

“I'll be doing homework most of the time,” Mitch laughs, “I'm still trying to graduate, but I'll get there eventually.” He sits down on the biggest chair in the living room when the tour is over and gets comfortable with Eli, resting the baby against his chest. “I'm an Early Childhood Education major, so if I ask a million things about Eli, don't be too alarmed.”

Avi smiles, sitting on the couch across from him. “Are you planning on being a teacher?”

Mitch shrugs, as much as he can while holding a baby, and says, “I'm not sure, I just really want to work with kids. They're so sweet, I don't think anything makes me happier.”

Avi's smile doesn't go anywhere after that and they continue to talk about more serious things regarding the job. Mitch turns a soft pink color when Avi tells him how much he's planning on paying, and he runs his fingers over Eli's back and hums to him between questions. It isn't long before Avi notices that the room is very quiet.

“Is he asleep?” Avi asks, slightly stunned. Mitch smiles and continues rubbing small circles on the baby's back, nodding his head.

“Yeah. I think he's been asleep since I sat down,” Mitch replies softly so he doesn't wake him. Avi bites his lip, watching the two of them together, the calm rise and fall of Eli's back as he breathes under Mitch's hand.

He thinks about the struggle he's faced and thinks about how easily Eli fell asleep on this boy's chest, like he doesn't have a care in the world.

“So.. When can you start?”


	2. Hold Onto Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mitch knocks on the door gently, hoping that he doesn’t wake the baby when it’s so early.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! Thank you guys for being so nice about the prologue. Let me know if you enjoy this chapter too! :)

Mitch knocks on the door gently, hoping that he doesn’t wake the baby when it’s so early. It’s barely six AM and he’s been awake for hours thinking about his first day on the job. The nerves are getting to him for sure, nearly making his stomach ache.

He takes a shaky breath and almost knocks again, but then Avi is swinging the door open, the usual warm smile on his face.

“Good morning,” Avi says softly and Mitch feels his shoulders lose tension. He hoists the heavy bag he’s holding higher on his hip and smiles back at the man, ducking his head a little.

“I know I’m early again, I just.. I didn’t know if you needed any help setting things up for him for the day, y’know? It must be hard leaving him with someone new for the first time,” he says and walks into the house when Avi invites him in. The house looks much cleaner than the last time he was here, and he almost laughs at the thought of Avi vacuuming and dusting the side tables in the living room.

Avi looks at him for a second, like he’s not sure where to even start. Mitch sets his bag down and adjusts the glasses on his face. It was way too early to put in his contacts. “Is everything okay?” Mitch asks, tilting his head at the man.

Avi sighs, shifting in his buttoned down shirt. He looks so professional and prepared, it makes Mitch blush, since all he’s wearing is a big sweater and his most comfortable jeans.

“Everything is fine, I think I’m just getting nervous now,” Avi tells him finally and Mitch smiles, thinking he understands.

“How long have you been out of work?” He asks, purely out of curiosity.

Avi walks into the kitchen and Mitch follows, watching the man grab his coffee cup. “It’s been a few months, which is.. A very, very long time,” Avi murmurs. His voice is much deeper in the mornings, Mitch notices, and it makes his face flush. 

Mitch nods, wanting to ask so many questions but not wanting to intrude, at least not yet. Avi looks like he appreciates it and he leans against the kitchen counter, running his fingers through his long hair. “I feel like I barely remember how to do anything that doesn’t involve a bottle and a baby. Someone is going to come up to me and ask a serious question about their finances and I’m going to blank out and start singing the Sesame Street theme song in my head.”

Mitch laughs at that, then covers his mouth when he realizes how loud it actually was. He looks up at the ceiling like he has x-ray vision, hoping that the baby won’t start crying. Avi laughs, nice and low in his chest, and says, “Don’t worry. I just fed him so he should be asleep for another hour or two.”

He blushes, ducking his head. “I just want everything to go well today,” he admits, shrugging one shoulder. Avi stares at him with that smile on his face, the one that's so warm and sweet it makes Mitch's stomach curl.

“Everything will be fine. Eli really likes you and he’ll pretty much just drink milk and poop and sleep all day,” Avi says and Mitch nods, biting his lip.

“Yeah, I know. That's why I brought all my textbooks,” Mitch laughs, taking his glasses off and cleaning them on his sweater. “I hope it's alright if I spend most of my time studying while he naps.”

Avi picks up his lunch bag and grins, grabbing a coat that is hanging on the back of a chair. “I don't mind at all, that's great. Maybe Eli will learn a thing or two.”

Mitch rolls his eyes but smiles and leads Avi out. They say their goodbyes and Mitch locks the door, letting out a heavy sigh. The house is so silent with Avi gone and he chews on his bottom lip, walking back to the kitchen and taking out the milk, deciding to prepare some bottles in advance for easier access. He isn't sure how much Eli eats but he knows that the baby will probably be hungry once he wakes up again, so he gets to work.

He takes his time with them, making sure the measurements are exact. He hums under his breath and cuts up an apple he brought from home as a snack, walking back to the living room and taking out his laptop, putting it on the coffee table. 

Mitch barely opens it before he hears little baby noises coming from the baby monitor in the kitchen. He smiles and goes upstairs, turns into the first room on the right and arrives in Eli's nursery.

It's beautiful, to say the least. The walls are a nice, warm shade of blue with stars and galaxies painted on them. One of the walls is darker, almost a hint of purple, with a big moon painted on it. Under the art is a phrase, written in beautiful cursive, _Goodnight Moon_.

Mitch walks into the room slowly and arrives at the crib, peeking his head over the top to take a look inside. And there's Eli, kicking his feet around and getting tangled in his blanket.

The baby blinks up at him sleepily, making a soft noise. Mitch smiles so big his cheeks hurt and he hopes he doesn't look menacing.

“Hey, little man,” Mitch whispers, slowly lowering a hand into the crib and resting it on the baby's belly. Eli squirms around, his big thighs showing in his onesie and Mitch has to hold back his squeals.

“I know. I look weird, I'm definitely not your daddy. But I promise I'm nice,” he says as softly as he can and when Eli just makes spit bubbles with his mouth and continues to wiggle, Mitch reaches in and picks him up.

Eli's body is small but he's a big baby, and Mitch feels his weight immediately, even though this isn't the first time he's picked him up. Eli makes soft cooing noises and rests his head against Mitch's shoulder with no complaint.

Mitch carries him over to the rocking chair and lets the baby rest on his forearm, so he can look at him properly. Eli is beautiful, with a little bit of dark hair at the top of his head and big, green eyes. They look exactly like Avi's. His bottom lip juts out just a little bit, making Eli look like he's constantly pouting, which is so darn cute.

“Well you're a cutie pie, aren't you?” Mitch asks and uses a bib to clean up the baby's mouth. Eli smiles when Mitch dabs at his lips gently and Mitch feels his heart grow ten times bigger in his chest.

“And you know it, too,” he adds and Eli wiggles in his arms, making little sounds and patting his small hands against Mitch's chest.

Mitch bites his lip and looks around the room. He wonders who came up with the gorgeous idea for the art. Deep down, he knows it may have been Avi, but something holds him back from agreeing with that.

He sighs and closes his eyes, moving the chair back and forth with his feet. Eli shouldn't be hungry yet, much less awake, so Mitch starts to hum quietly, hoping to catch his attention.

It isn't long before Eli is watching him. Mitch grabs the pacifier that is hanging onto Eli’s onesie and puts it in the baby’s mouth. His humming slowly turns into a song, some lullaby his mom used to sing to him when he was much younger.

Mitch isn't sure of the words but he makes them up as he goes, knowing Eli can't understand him yet. Eli blinks at him with his big eyes and sucks on his pacifier, and Mitch watches as those eyes begin to flutter closed, soft and silent.

He keeps rocking in the chair, humming mostly to himself now as he runs his fingers over Eli’s back gently. Mitch has never gotten along with a baby so well and he closes his eyes, smiling and deciding to get some rest before Eli wakes up.

He falls asleep faster than he has in months.


	3. Little Monkey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli watches the screen like he wants to climb inside it, wants to become a cartoon and fly with Peter Pan.

Mitch sighs as he opens the door to his apartment, carrying his school bag and three extra books in his arms. It’s been another long day. He took care of Eli for the usual hours, until around six, all the while cramming for a test he had to take a few hours later.

It’s nearly eleven, he’s been up since five am and needs to be up at the same time tomorrow. Oh, the life of a full time, working student.

“Hey,” Mitch hears as he puts down all of his things on the crowded kitchen table. He groans in response, rummaging through his bag for his phone.

Scott, his roommate, laughs from the couch, looking nice and comfortable. “Long day?” He asks sweetly and Mitch sighs again, tilting his head to the side to try and crack his neck.

“Yeah, you can say that,” Mitch replies, flopping down on the couch near Scott. He has no idea what Wyatt, their hairless cat, is up to, but he’s too tired to try and find him.

Scott leans his head against Mitch’s shoulder, cuddling up to him. “How’s Eli?” He asks.

Mitch can’t help but smile thinking about the baby. “He’s great. He’s sweet and fat and I wanna eat him up every day.”

“I don’t think Mr. Kaplan would enjoy that very much,” Scott says softly, his eyes drooping. Mitch rests a hand in the boy’s hair until he hums, like he’s been forcing himself to stay awake.

He closes his eyes too, leans his head against Scott’s on his shoulder. _Mr. Kaplan_ , he thinks. He’s only been working for the man for a few weeks, but it bothers Mitch that he doesn’t know much about him. He knows Avi is a hard worker and that he does something in financing because he’s always stressed and a little grumpy when he gets home. The man is very reserved. But his face lights up like a Christmas tree when he sees Eli. It’s like something inside of him turns back on, like the light comes back to his eyes.

It’s the sweetest thing. Mitch doesn’t know much else, though. He knows from Avi’s DVD collection that he’s a massive nerd and from his fridge that he likes junk food, but he also knows that Avi is very strict when it comes to raising Eli. There are baby books all around the house, some that look like they have been dog eared for months, and Avi is very careful about what the baby can and can’t eat.

Mitch chews on his bottom lip and tries to understand more about Avi just by thinking, but he knows the only way he’ll actually understand the man is by talking to him. He blushes, trying to think of what to say to Avi the next morning to get to know him better, and he falls asleep with Scott on the couch. 

They manage to make it to their respective beds a few hours later, but Mitch sleeps right through his first two alarms in the morning, the exhaustion getting to him. Luckily, he makes it to work on time but still apologizes profusely for not showing up ten minutes earlier, like he usually does. Avi just smiles and leads him to the kitchen, where there are a few bags of groceries sitting on the counter.

Mitch raises his eyebrows and smiles. “Oh, you did some shopping?”

Avi seems a little restless as he rummages through the bags and starts taking things out. There’s baby food and some bananas, but Mitch doesn't really understand.

“Are you on a health kick?” Mitch asks and he tries very hard to hold back his hopeful sigh. These bananas are the first sight of fresh food that Mitch has seen in this house and it's worrying to say the least.

Avi shakes his head and sighs. “No, this is all for Eli. He's four months old now and he's supposed to start eating soft food but..” He trails off, running his fingers through his long hair.

Mitch frowns. “But what? Is everything okay?”

“He wouldn't let me feed him baby food last night,” Avi says, a little exasperated, “I had to give up and give him a bottle instead. I don't know if it's normal that he rejected it. Maybe, I don't know, maybe it's me? Maybe he doesn't feel comfortable when I feed him, you know? Maybe - ”

“Avi,” Mitch interrupts, trying to stop the man's rambling. Avi stops mid sentence, looking like he could continue talking for hours and Mitch bites his lip to hide a smile. “It's going to be okay. It might have just freaked him out a little, I doubt it has anything to do with you.”

Avi doesn't look convinced and Mitch continues, grabbing one of the the small jars of baby food and reading the back of it. “I mean, it was his first time tasting something that isn't milk, Avi. He's not going to be chugging veggies any time soon.”

Mitch watches as Avi blushes and shrugs again, like he isn't sure. “I guess so,” he says and he looks so gentle and almost small.

“I promise, he will start eating soon,” Mitch smiles, trying to sound assuring.

Avi bites his lip and says, “Do you mind trying to feed him some today? You don't have to if you're not comfortable, but..”

Mitch smiles automatically and nods. “Of course I can! It'll be fun. He's probably gonna make a mess but I'll deal with him and just give him a nice bath afterwards.”

“Yeah?” Avi asks softly, his eyes so hopeful and green that it makes Mitch's stomach ache. Mitch nods, feeling his face flush.

“Of course. Just don't get mad if there are smashed bananas all over the walls, okay?” he asks, trying to get rid of the feeling as fast as possible.

Avi just laughs and says, “Deal.” He leaves a few minutes after their conversation, but Mitch can't stop thinking about his smile for the rest of the day.

-

Eli wakes up about an hour later and Mitch feeds him a bottle and changes his diaper. He tries to get the baby to burp by walking around the nursery, rocking him gently in his arms and taking in the beautiful art on the walls once more. He notices small stars and hearts dotted around the room, lining Eli’s crib and his massive toy chest. There are short quotes about outer space written in nice ink in some spots that Mitch never caught before. But what really catches his eye is the signature he finds, right behind the door frame like it wasn’t meant to be seen.

It’s in beautiful cursive and it clearly reads, _Ellie K_. Mitch tilts his head, staring at it for a very long time, until it becomes blurry in his mind. _Who the hell is Ellie?_ he can’t help but think, and then Eli starts being grumpy in his arms and he has to take him downstairs.

Mitch gently sets him down on a blanket on the living room floor and lets him roll around a bit. Eli can’t necessarily turn himself over or even move on the floor by himself, but Mitch turns him gently every few minutes, giving Eli a chance to be on his belly and explore.

He’s a very young baby but he lifts himself gently on his hands and looks around the room, smiles at Mitch and then flops back down again.

Mitch loves spending time with Eli. He’s a sweetheart and likes to be held and cuddled. Mitch has started to bring over Disney movies, because there was a serious lack of children’s movies in the Kaplan household. Eli watches the screen like he wants to climb inside it, wants to become a cartoon and fly with Peter Pan.

When Mitch puts him in his high chair in the kitchen, Eli sits quietly and stares at him, tapping his small hands against the little table. Mitch smiles and talks to him as he uses a fork to mash a banana in a bowl until it’s nearly a puree.

“We’re going to try this, Eli. I won’t be hurt if you don’t like it, but you gotta promise you’ll at least try, okay?” Mitch asks, looking at him.

Eli watches him intently and blinks.

Mitch smiles and says, “Good enough.” He picks the smallest spoon he can find in the drawer and scoops up some of the banana, taps it gently against the baby’s lips.

Eli doesn’t budge, just makes a face and tries to push it away with his hand. Mitch sighs, bringing his own chair closer and shushing him gently.

“Sweetheart, I know it’s new. I know the milk is so much easier, but this is fun. You can play with it, look,” he says and he puts Eli’s hand in the bowl, watching as the baby slowly smiles and picks some up with his fingers, splattering it all over the seat.

Mitch laughs, nodding his head. “Yeah, see? It’s fun, right?” he asks and Eli babbles, brings his own messy fist into his mouth. His eyes light up as he tastes the fruit and he giggles, putting his hand inside the bowl again.

This goes on for a while, with Eli crying once the banana is gone and Mitch having to mash some more for him. He starts using a spoon after a while and Eli likes that too, just makes cooing sounds and spits it all up until Mitch scoops it right back into his mouth, smiling, “See? You’re so sweet, I knew you would like it. You’re like a little monkey, huh?”

Eli giggles as if he understands and Mitch smiles, feeling his heart swell in his chest once again for this little boy. He has mashed bananas on his cheeks, all over his hair and his small hands. His eyes are bright green and he can’t speak yet but Mitch knows this baby feels so much joy.

Mitch adores him. He takes a picture of Eli’s messy face on his phone and sends it to Avi, with the caption, _my little monkey_.

He doesn’t think about how much it aches in his chest that he can’t say _ours_ instead.


	4. I Still Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all starts with Eli, as do most great things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes life happens and writing is no longer a first priority, more like second, third or fourth. But this fic is always on my mind and I hope you are all enjoying it as much as I am. Yay!

It all starts with Eli, as do most great things.

The baby is five months now and has nearly tripled his weight since he was born. He’s a big, healthy baby, which really excites Mitch, because he can’t wait to chase him around the yard once he can walk.

But a healthy baby has to eat. And oh boy, does he eat.

“ _Already?_ ” Avi says over the phone when Mitch calls him almost near lunch time, complaining about the lack of food in the house.

“What do you mean, _already_?” Mitch replies, rolling his eyes. He bounces Eli on his hip as he looks into the fridge, balancing the phone on his shoulder with his cheek at the same time. “You bought a few bananas and a pack of oatmeal, Avi. Of course it’s all gone.”

Avi groans and Mitch almost feels bad for snapping, but really. Eli is a growing boy and wants to try everything, which is actually _great_ because usually babies are very picky when it comes to new food. Mitch can only feed him so many bananas before he starts to get fussy and wants something else.

“I guess I can - I’ll go shopping after work? Can you stay with him for an extra hour today?” Avi asks, sounding so incredibly tired. Mitch chews on his bottom lip, considers his options as best as he can with a grumpy baby in his arms.

“I mean, I could, but.. How about I go shopping for you?” he asks instead and Avi is quiet, so quiet that Mitch thinks the call was dropped.

“Would you really do that?” Avi asks instead and Mitch smiles, closing the fridge door with his free hip. The man sounds so hopeful that Mitch almost laughs out loud.

“Yeah, I don’t see why not. Eli can’t do much and we’ve already watched Sleeping Beauty about fifty times. He’ll probably fall asleep in the shopping cart anyway.”

Avi sighs, clearly relieved. “Thank you so much, Mitch. Save the receipt, okay? And get yourself whatever you want.”

 _I’ll consider it_ , he thinks, but all he says is, “No worries. I’ll see you at six.”

-

Mitch does his research before he leaves the house with an infant. He gives Eli a bath, dresses him in his comfiest, warmest clothes and makes sure he’s well fed. By the time he’s strapped into the car seat, his eyes are drooping, and Mitch hopes to whoever is listening that he stays that way.

But of course, Eli is wide awake when they arrive at the grocery store. Mitch sighs, knowing that this is going to be an adventure and a half, and he gently places Eli in the cart seat, holding the baby tight in his hands to make sure he doesn’t topple over. But Eli sits up quite firmly, just blinks up at Mitch with a pacifier in his mouth and Mitch smiles, pressing a kiss on his forehead because he just has to.

“We’re gonna be good today, okay?” he murmurs, starting to push the cart through the first aisle, “I know this is your first time here, but we are going to behave and be good boys, Eli.”

Eli makes grabby hands at most things on the shelves, especially the colorful boxes of cereal. Mitch shakes his head every time, telling him gently that he’s not old enough to eat those things, and Eli scrunches up his face like it’s the worst news he’s ever gotten. His lower lip begins to tremble and Mitch would know that _I’m about to cry oh my god_ look anywhere and he nearly squeals in his haste to find a toy in the over-packed bag he brought for their trip. 

“Hey, hey! Look at this, baby!” he says and Eli slowly begins to smile again, taking the rattle and smacking it against Mitch’s cheek in his excitement to shake it.

Mitch manages to get most of the things he needs in the baby and produce aisle. He checks over the ingredients on all the jars of baby food until he finds something that pleases him, with no unnecessary chemicals and weird color dyes. He picks out some cute pacifiers and a sippy cup while he's at it. Eli holds it in his little hands and makes cooing sounds, his eyes beginning to droop again.

Mitch thinks he's all done with the shopping, because he technically told Avi that he was just picking up some necessities for Eli and nothing else. But when he passes by some nice chicken stock and notices that the carrots are decently priced, well. He can't be held responsible for his actions when there's a good sale going on.

Avi texts him a few minutes later, telling him about an emergency meeting the company is having and begging Mitch to stay a bit later that night with Eli. He also sends another text profusely apologizing, as if it’s his own fault that the meeting is taking place.

 _No worries_ , Mitch texts him back with a smiley face. _Almost done with shopping, so I'll see you when you get back. Take your time._

And for what he's planning, he really hopes Avi takes his sweet time coming home.

-

When Avi walks into the house, over-tired and nearly three hours late, he stops dead in his tracks. He blinks, trying to figure out what’s so different than every other night. Then it hits him.

Something smells so, so good.

Avi closes the door behind him and takes his shoes off, setting down the briefcase he’s carrying and loosening up his tie. He rounds the corner of the hallway, following the scent like one of those cartoons he watches with Eli on Saturday mornings, where the character is floating through the air in a daze, following wafting smells coming from the kitchen.

He smiles at what he walks into, can’t help himself.

Mitch has his back to him and seems to be stirring something in a massive pot on the stove. There are boxes of pasta littering the counters and the remains of vegetables on the cutting board that Avi hasn’t touched in months. There is soft music playing from the boy’s phone and he hums along, adding spices to the pot once he tries a sip of whatever it is he’s making, making a happy sound when it tastes just right. 

Mitch doesn’t seem to notice the other presence in the room, so Avi clears his throat and watches as Mitch jumps a little, his fuzzy socks sliding on the kitchen floor as he turns around.

“Oh! You’re home!” Mitch says, a big smile on his face. His hair looks messy but still so nice, and his eyes are clearly tired behind his glasses, yet Avi can’t stop looking at him. He’s not sure how to even react, given the circumstance. He’s assuming Eli is asleep since the baby monitor is on full blast next to the fridge, which _never_ happens this early, so that’s a miracle in itself. But Avi looks around the kitchen one last time, as if this will all vanish if he doesn’t take it all in.

“What.. What _is_ all of this?” he manages to ask finally, gesturing to the beautiful mess in his kitchen, so full of life.

Mitch bites his lip to contain a laugh but it doesn't work. “It's dinner, silly. I hope that's okay, I didn't exactly ask for permission but.. I knew you would be too tired to make something when you got home, and I knew that you would end up heating up some God awful canned soup - “

“Hey,” Avi frowns, a little insulted.

“ - with no nutritional value whatsoever and I couldn't just.. Walk by all of this amazing food and leave it all there,” Mitch finishes, his voice softening near the end. His cheeks are nice and pink, and Avi knows it's not because of the stove. Mitch shrugs, turning off the heat and curling his fingers together, nervous. “I hope you don't mind..”

Avi is speechless, for the first time in so long. He knows that Mitch didn't need to do this, he could have left hours ago, to be honest. Yet here he is, dancing around Avi's kitchen and making him dinner. It makes his heart ache.

“Of course I don't mind,” Avi replies softly, watching as Mitch looks up from the tile floors and smiles at him again. He walks over to one of the cupboards and pulls out placemats, something he hasn't used in a _very_ long time. “I'll set the table for us, then.”

Mitch looks like a deer caught in headlights. “Oh, I wasn't - it's okay, I really don't have to stay,” he stutters.

Avi shakes his head, almost laughing out loud. “You made me dinner, Mitchy. There's no way you're not staying and enjoying it with me. Plus, Eli is in bed, who else is gonna keep me company?”

Mitch bites his lip, maybe to hold back what he really wants to say, and Avi tries not to think about what it could be. “Okay,” the boy says softly and he turns to reach for the bowls in the cupboard. 

They are quiet as they set up for dinner, Avi bringing over the utensils and insisting that he carries the big pot of soup over to the table, even though Mitch tries very hard to convince him not to. So Mitch brings over some cups and fills them with orange juice to make up for it.

“I didn't think to get wine or anything like that, I'm sorry,” he says as he pours from the jug, biting his lip again. Avi thinks he's so incredibly endearing and he smiles, shaking his head.

“Don't worry about that. It's a week night anyway, I shouldn't be drinking.”

Mitch smiles at that, almost snorting in his attempt to hold back a laugh.

“What?” Avi asks, his cheeks hurting from how big his smile is.

Mitch shakes his head, taking a seat and still laughing. “You know you've reached old age when you can't even have wine with dinner, huh?” he taunts and Avi lets his mouth hang open in mock offense.

“Hey! I'll have you know, I'm not _that_ old,” he replies, but there's no way he can be actually mad when Mitch is having a fit of giggles across the table. 

“Okay, grandpa,” Mitch banters, batting his eyelashes at Avi when the man rolls his eyes, trying to bite back his own grin.

“Alright, alright. Let's see if this soup is all it's made out to be, hm?” Avi says, taking the ladle and filling his bowl to the brim. He fills Mitch’s bowl too and hums at how good it smells before he takes a bite.

And then another. And then another.

Avi doesn't realize he hasn't said a word for several minutes until he feels Mitch’s gaze on him. He lifts his head from the soup, or what's left of it, and feels a noodle hanging from his lips, which he sucks right up, making a slurping sound by accident.

Mitch gapes at him a little, before his mouth breaks out into a massive smile. “Does that mean you like it?” he asks, tilting his head and watching as Avi fills his bowl again.

Avi licks his lips, completely aware he looks starved. “It’s.. alright,” he replies gently, taking another spoonful into his mouth and Mitch laughs, that sweet soft sound he makes when something pleases him. It's the cutest thing and Avi keeps eating like he hasn't seen food in weeks.

He finishes the second bowl and reaches for the ladle again after a few minutes, and Mitch laughs, shaking his head. “Slow down, big guy,” he says, his cheeks pink from just finishing his first bowl. “I don’t want you getting sick, that really isn’t the point of chicken noodle soup.”

Avi grins, licking his lips and taking a drink of his orange juice, which Mitch kindly replenishes for him once it’s gone. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. I just haven’t had a full meal like this since Ellie - ” he starts and then stops so suddenly that he hears his teeth click when his mouth shuts.

Avi looks up at Mitch, then back down at his bowl when he realizes Mitch is staring at him, eyes wide and confused and so, so brown. He swallows hard, feeling that last gulp of juice running down his throat and chest hot like a shot of whiskey, burning low in his stomach like acid. He knew this day would come but he didn’t - he didn’t want it to happen this way, this sudden and during such a nice moment between them, he wanted to reserve it for a day when he just _had_ to let Mitch know about her, not like this, where it could potentially ruin this little thing they have together and oh, he regrets it so _bad_ \- 

“Hey,” he hears and his head snaps up from where he was staring intently at the bowl, his thoughts running a mile a minute and he feels Mitch’s hand on his, slender fingers curling over his palm, so gentle and sweet. Mitch blinks at him with his big eyes, squeezes his hand and whispers, “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

Avi wishes that was true. He wishes he could just close his eyes and this moment would disappear, but it won’t. The damage is done, and Mitch deserves to know.

So he shakes his head, closing his eyes and trying to think of where he should begin.

“It’s okay,” Mitch starts again, pulling at Avi’s hand gently as if to try and wake him. Avi squeezes his hand back, running a thumb over his pretty fingers.

“She was my wife, and Eli’s mother,” he says finally, his shoulders deflating, like he lost a battle with himself. Mitch takes in a breath, like he’s surprised that Avi is actually speaking about this. “She used to do all the cooking, if that wasn’t obvious,” he adds, trying to lighten up the mood as best as he can. Mitch nods, understanding, and gives him a small smile.

They are quiet while Avi tries to gather his thoughts, tries to word what he wants to say properly without any previous planning. Mitch bites his lip and Avi knows that look, the one that says _you really don’t have to do this, I understand_ but Avi can’t hold it back.

“She passed away giving birth to Eli,” he finally says, his voice softening near the end because it still hurts to say it, still aches deep in his chest. Mitch gasps, squeezing his hand so tight it nearly hurts. Avi closes his eyes, almost smiling. It feels good to be held, even if it’s just by a hand.

“Oh.. Jesus, Avi,” Mitch murmurs, soft and gentle like he always is, but he sounds so hurt that Avi has to look at him. His eyes are so sad, drooping like this is the worst thing he’s ever heard, like nothing could be more painful than this, the empathy so clear on his face that Avi is nearly taken aback. 

Mitch’s lips tremble and he shakes his head. “I.. I don’t know what to say,” he says, squeezing Avi’s hand again, “I can’t even imagine what you and Eli have gone through.”

Avi shrugs, because this is just a fact that he has to live with. Mitch tugs on his hand again, making sure their eyes are locked when he says, “Avi. I’m so, so sorry,” soft and urgent like it needs to be said. Avi wants to cry, if he’s being honest and he swallows it back, nodding his head.

“Yeah. I am too, Mitchy,” he finally replies, his voice even deeper than it normally is, thick like molasses and full of the things he wants to say but isn’t ready to yet.


End file.
